I’m here, I’m here

Ages ago, I resolved to blog more. That, as it turns out, has been a resounding failure. The truth is, I never really know what to write about. I mean, I can think of a million different topics but I never feel like I have the right words to talk about them, so I don’t.

Why would the interwebs need one more blog post about a topic that’s probably been written about a thousand times before?, she reasons, tossing away idea after idea, because there’s always something else that needs to be done, and the threat of burnout has been lingering like a vaguely bad smell she can’t find the source of for most of recent memory.

So that’s where I am right now. Not at BURNOUT burnout, but wondering exactly how many breaking news stories or obligations I should have declined might get me there.

Pure 2017, basically.

A lot of creatives have been talking about how hard it is to create lately, constantly surrounded by what I will simply call “the unpleasantness.” And yes, that’s been hard. In the first half the year, I put in oodles of time finishing up GUNSLINGER GIRL, half-wondering if we’d be mired in a nuclear war before it ever came out. (And at least than three months from pub date, I suppose there’s still time, laugh/cry.)

But full-blown destruction by full-blown idiots aside, the creative process chugs along. Unfortunately, it has not been nearly as productive as I’d like. Today, for example, I planned to get a whoooooole ton of writing work done, only to fall asleep this afternoon on the couch, where I was quickly joined by my cat, who snuggled up with an enthusiasm  that seems to say “I don’t get why you don’t nap every afternoon, stupid human.”

Naps are a pretty rare thing for me (I’ve never been a good sleeper, and sleeping at night presents enough of a challenge) so when I manage to take one, I know it’s probably needed. (Given that I spent a lot of this week helping to prep for a Halloween party thrown last night by by one of my social groups, and didn’t get to bed until early this morning, I suppose it was understandable.) Still, I hate the feeling of *having* time, and then not putting it to as good a use as I could, because I’m too mentally or physically tired to do much more than binge watch Netflix and rationalize that dry cereal is a perfectly acceptable non-breakfast meal.

Like I said, I’m not at BURNOUT. But if I’m being honest I wouldn’t mind a two week vacation away from everything right about now. (Well, maybe…I took a week-long vacation earlier this year only to return to a large layoff at my day job, which has played no small part in the continuing Burnout-Lite™. So maybe I don’t want to tempt fate a second time, haha.)

On the plus side, NaNoWriMo is coming up. It’s been a couple years since I’ve been able to complete the challenge (for various reasons) but this year I’m really committed to adding a big chunk of words to my WIP. And the annual writing retreat with my writing group is coming up in a few weeks, so I have that to look forward to. (Full disclosure, the planning for that is on me too. Oh yes, I do this to myself.)

Where am I going with this? I don’t know…which is probably why I don’t blog much.

What I do know is 2018 is continuing as scheduled, and that I get to kick it off with the publication of my first novel. Which is a great motivation to begin a new year, as I certainly don’t intend it to be the last.